Thursday, February 26, 2009

Reader Post: Restaurant of Dreams - Build it, and they will come!

This was posted by rpb, one of this blog's readers, in the comments section of a recent post. Enjoy...
Lonn Trost and Randy Levine talking to George Steinbrenner after the ground breaking for the new Stadium.

George: Lonn/Randy, I'm looking at this model here and I don't see how the fans in the bleachers can see around this restaurant in centerfield?

Lonn/Randy: Boss, this restaurant will make us more money in one homestand, then selling 1,000 bleacher seats at double the $12 asking price for a month of games. Its a gold mine. Like printing money.

George: But what about the fans?

Trost/Levine: The fans? The fans? They're sheep. They'll follow us anywhere. They'll be grateful just be able to get in the place. Obstructed views George? The patrons in the restaurant will have great views, who gives a shit about a few fans paying $12 bucks. Hell, if they complain, we'll ignore them. The press wont care, they have great seats behind home plate, heat, AC, we feed them. Shit, they're sheep too. They write whatever we tell them. The media? OK, we drop the price for a while, that'll keep them at bay, make us look like we give a shit. We're telling you Boss, its the big spender, the corporate dollars, that's what we're after. Its win/win for us.

George: you know me, I want the fans to be happy.

Trost/Levine: The big corporate spenders will love you Boss. They are the fans! They'll spend big money to come to your new house and its their money we're after. The $12 bleachers guy? Colateral damage. Price of doing business. In fact, we wanted to put another restaurant in the grandstands but the engineer said it would'nt hold the weight. We said put some steel column under it to hold it up.

George: Won't the steel columns obstruct the views of some of the seats? Fans would have to look around them. Like the original stadium. Can't have that Randy, can't have that Lonn.

Trost/Levine: Boss we got obstructed views everyhere, at every level. Handicap platforms, steel column in the main level. The assholes, I mean fans wont mind them, like we said, they'll be happy just to get in the place. In fact, we're thinking of putting some tables on the handicap platforms and calling them outdoor cafe's. We'll get more for the seats, plus they have to spend money for a meal. Big money there Boss.

George: I see, OK the centerfield restaurant can stay, but no steel column holding up another restaurant in the grandstand. I don't think we can get away with two big restaurants.

Trost/Levine: Wait, we'll put it off a big hallway away from the seats. They can watch the game on TV.

George: Who is going to pay good money to get into the stadium and then sit in a restaurant with no view of the field?

Trost/Levine: The same assholes, I mean fans who'll pay money to sit in a seat where they can't see the whole field. We're telling you Boss, they're sheep. Win a few games and they'll forgive and forget anything. Hell, if we had our way, the whole bleacher area would be a restaurant. Big bucks, great views from those tables.

George: OK you seem to have it all covered. As long as the fans are happy.

Trost/Levine: Boss the corporate fans will love you and pay big money to be associated with the Yankees.

George: And the cab drivers? the firefighters? the average working guy?

Trost/Levine: They'll be happy to get in and see the place. Don't worry Boss.

6 Comments:

The Bentton One said...

after reading this, makes me not even wanna go to the new stadium!

Anonymous said...

^^^u realize it was just a joke, right? they didnt actually say this...

its so true though

Mike said...

Baaaaa...

The Bentton One said...

yeah i know it's a joke. but it's true. i feel as if the yankees don't care about the average fan, like myself, and it's sadd cause you would expect the yankees to build a mistake-free $1.3 billion stadium, with no flaws!

Bronx Baseball Daily said...

Sadly it might as well be filed under non-fiction.

Anonymous said...

Make money make money ! put it back into the team (international scouting, player development, free agents and kick butt forever !!)